So my best friend and I attend the same school and haven’t talked in three weeks bc her stupid boyfriend yelled at me for no goddamn reason. My high school teacher died recently at the age of 35 due to breast cancer leaving a 4 month old baby and husband behind. And Ceci came and left. The world is just so cruel sometimes, I don’t get it. I hate fighting but I always fight till there are no ends. But I don’t even eat meat, if I don’t hurt animals, what makes you think I can even hurt people?

For once, I want to wake up to a clear sunny morning, not this stupid cold, rainy, shitty weather. I don’t think people understand that I’m only happy in the sun. So, I don't care if this whole city burns down today because I just don’t give a shit right now. The guilt of a million silences makes it so hard to keep it all together, like I said before…it’s the moments where I’m still that are the hardest. And it would be such a relief to see something fall apart that isn't me -_-

It’s hormone week…lol AND homework week which is why my moods have been fluctuating. I’m crazy.

On a lighter note:

1)I watched "Where the Wild Things Are". LOVED IT. The scenes and costumes are so creative and flawlessly put together…just absolutely wonderful. & the story ripped at my heart. It’s a good feeling.

2)I saw a possum running around in my neighborhood and it made me ridiculously happy even though…well, it’s a possum.

3)Been meaning to write this for you:

My dearest and best: a border town Midwesterner with a heart like sunshine, now borderless but still shine. Maybe it’s me being 20 and you, 21 and I’m holding on to my newest dreams of a stuff animal I cried for and my dad found it in the trash. I love you and NY isn’t NY without you….thanks for the magic and all the great times :)